Expectant parents often ask if they should buy items for their baby (clothes, toys, cot, pram etc) and set up the nursery. This is a personal decision and everyone has different views. The decision should be based on your own personal feelings and circumstances.

The positive of having a nursery set-up is that you have what you need when your baby comes home. Having a nursery setup if your baby dies can be difficult; however, some parents find comfort in having a room with their baby’s things and spend time in the room holding items of clothing and toys that belonged to their baby as part of the grieving process. They can also find it a helpful part of the grieving process to pack everything away when the time comes. Others find doing these things too difficult.

Most parents prepare somewhere between buying everything and buying nothing by purchasing essentials and a few special items (outfit/s, blanket/s, toy/s). Making a list of items that still need to be purchased can be helpful as a family member or friend can shop for these items when the time is right whilst you focus on caring for your baby.

When deciding what to do it may be worthwhile to think about how it makes you feel during your pregnancy. For some it is just too hard and emotional to shop for items to set up the nursery. For others it helps to keep them positive as they spend time in their baby’s room and visualise their baby coming home to it one day.

Know that whatever decision you make it is the right one for you at the time. You may or may not regret your decision later on; however, in the scheme of things these regrets will not be significant. Saying goodbye to your child is devastating and the pain will not be any worse or less. It really is important though to try and buy at least a couple of special items for your baby so no matter what the outcome, you will always have something special for your baby.